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Writers'
Workshops -
Cora
talks with kids!
Cora often works
with student writers.
Here are some of their questions and problems, Cora offers these
ideas to help:
Cora the Coach
I talked to a group of student writers at Delton School
about writing Time Travel stories.
Everyone had to think of a character,
an object
(something that would take them into the past),
an adventure for the character to have while
there
and then try to get the character safely home.
Here are my comments (in italics)
on some of the student’s work.
#1. Andrew’s character found something while walking
in the rain on the beach.
“What the...” Alex said in awe.
As he got closer he realized that it was a piece of a Samurai sword.
When he reached out to touch it everything went black. When he awoke,
he was laying on the floor of an ancient Japanese temple.
It took Andrew a little while to get to
the part I’ve just quoted but he did it quickly and that’s
important. And immediately poor Alex is attacked by Samurai warriors!
Andrew has some very nice action before Alex manages to escape although
he cuts himself while doing so. At last:-
He reached the sword, touched it and
as he half-expected everything went black.
Alex awoke to rain drops hitting his face. He looked to the left
and saw a fair-sized rock by his head. He reached up touched his
head and felt a sharp pain.
Had he only been hit in the head and just dreamed about his adventure?
When he looked at his hand he saw a cut. He’d never know if
he dreamed it or not.
I like the way Andrew has given us a
bit of mystery for his character. It seems to me that Alex would
begin to doubt that it was a dream, you don’t get cut in dreams.
A good piece of work, Andrew.
#2. Oanh didn’t manage to finish her story but she
did give us a very good opening.
“Oh God! I swear he had seen me, but no, he didn’t.
This moment is like living in every twelve-year old’s nightmare.
That nightmare is War!”
That last sentence introduces us to a
lot of dramatic possibilities. Oanh uses the first person for her
character so we don’t have a name, she is just referred to
as “I”. That works and in the past the character is
called “Melissa”. Because Oanh’s story starts
with the character already in the past we’re not sure how
she got there. It’s something Oanh might add at the beginning
or include later on in her story as a flashback scene. Good luck
finishing this story Oanh!
#3. Robert uses some very interesting names for his characters
– it would be helpful (and add a touch of humour) to give
us some of the background as to how they got these nicknames. Robert
borrowed some of the ideas from television and made his own story
from them. His story “Conky” uses a very good idea for
the time travel object – a doll or puppet (named Conky).
Ricky decided to go to the swamp and find Conky. A long
time ago Bubbles made a puppet named Conky in grade six. Ricky got
sick of it and threw it in the swamp. Conky used to be Bubbles confidante.
It was like he was Bubbles but he was another person.
Conky works very well as the
magic object that carries them into the past.
“Where are we?” shouted Bubbles.
“We’re back in front of our old school!” said
Julian.
“This happened when you touched the doll, Bubbles.
Robert gives the story a nice twist here
because Bubbles can’t let go of the puppet, the mud from the
swamp has hardened and Conky is stuck to his hand.
“Until we can find some water we’re stuck in 1987,”
said Julian.
“Hey, remember that kid who always picked on me?” said
Ricky
“Now’s the time to get revenge.”
“No time for that, let’s go to a water fountain,”
said Julian. They poured some water and got the puppet off but when
it was off they ended up laying in the swamp.
Sometimes when you are writing a short
story (especially if you don’t want it to get too long) it
is better to stick to just a couple of characters. You could probably
get rid of Julian and just concentrate on Bubbles and Ricky and,
of course, Conky.
In the end Ricky gets rid of Conky so he can do no more damage.
I like the touch of humour at the end when Bubbles wants to keep
Conky’s glasses and his little sweater.
#4. Rebecca does a super job of getting her character into
the past. “With Fear and Courage” is a very good story.
I’m sorry there isn’t room to print it all. I can just
print the beginning.
“Marie? Marie! Come here, please!” Grandma Charlotte
said, acting excited. Marie entered the living room and stood beside
her Grandma. “Marie, this is for you. It’s my vase.
It has been with me for years, it survived the war and many hard
times with me. I want you to have it because I know how much you
love it. You are old enough now.”
Marie gazed intently at the vase. “Thank you so much! Marie
said happily. She picked up the vase carefully and gently ran her
fingers over the delicate porcelain flowers that decorated it. I
wonder what it was like to be in the War, Marie thought, as she
felt the inscription at the bottom of the vase. Suddenly in a whoosh
of bright colors, Marie felt herself spinning round and round.
When the spinning stopped Marie looked around, confused. “Where
am I?” Marie said softly.
“Charlotte, time for breakfast,” a short, sweet-looking
woman said to Marie. “Charlotte come, the food is getting
cold.” Marie then realized that the woman thought that she
was Charlotte!
“C-c-coming,” Marie stuttered. She slowly went and sat
at the large round wooden table and noticed that there seemed to
be very little food for seven people. I am Grandma, she thought.
How cool.
I’m sure you wish that you could
read the rest. Notice how Rebecca describes the way Marie rubs her
fingers on the pattern on the vase. It’s good to describe
things by touch and let the reader imagine how it would feel. It
makes the vase more real and special. I also like the way she uses
“Grandma Charlotte” in the first line, not just Grandma.
That way when someone calls Marie “Charlotte” later
on we know even before Marie does that she’s back being her
grandmother. And, instead of telling us they didn’t have enough
to eat, she lets us “see” it through Marie’s eyes.
The meal is interrupted by the arrival of Nazi soldiers who examine
everyone’s identification papers and Marie meets a special
friend of her Grandma’s, someone who Marie knows is in grave
danger. As I said I wish you could read it all. I’m sure you
would enjoy it as much as I did.
Thanks for sharing your stories, Delton
School!
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